It was the last and first thing I wanted to do.
ByOn Saturday morning, I was getting stuck into giving my kitchen a good clean. It had that cluttered feeling following the Christmas period, which had been prolonged and added to by the snow and ice we had, and the water shortage – which meant that there were things all over the place and food in the fridge which didn’t need to be there!!! I’m sure you know the feeling……
Although, cleaning isn’t my favourite activity, there comes a point, when I know that the end result will be so good, that I look forward to doing it and enjoy it. Saturday was a beautiful day – warm, dry and still. I through open the windows and put things outside to air. I had some great inspirational teleseminars that I was looking forward to listening to in the ipod. I received a call about a great workshop I am going to be doing soon – 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teenagers – and was feeling really excited, inspired and blessed to be able to do it. I was so looking forward to having a clean and tidy house – knowing that I would feel as if I could function really well.
The phone rang again. This time it was a relative telling of a crisis that had happened in the life one of our extended family – no other family members were around to go to them – and they really needed some help and support. I dropped everything, grabbed my homeopathic first aid kit and drove down to them. On the way I was thinking “This is the last thing that I want to do” and then instantaneously I had the thought “This is the first thing that I want to do.” I was filled with gratitude that I was able to do down and help – that I had the time, the car, the resources, the skills to be able to go down and to help them.
The paradox really struck me. It really was the last thing that I wanted to do – I was so happy cleaning the house and listening to things which inspire me. I knew that I would be gone for hours and that to me it is a daytime energy job, and not an evening one! And yet it really was the first thing that I wanted to do too – to be able to go and help where I was needed. I felt no resentment or resistance – I just held the 2 feelings simultaneously, and all was well.
That felt quite miraculous to me, and showed me I am making progress in myself and in .
In years gone by I would have gone down but felt resentful. Or I would have tried to deny what I was feeling and tried to make myself okay about it – or any number of permutations of resentment, denial guilt etc.
This felt great! Free and clear.
Thank you.
In my next post I am going to write about one of the exercises I use that has really helped me move towards feeling this freedom more and more.
